8 days

8 days til Charlee is here and wow am I getting nervous. When I was pregnant with Audrianna I wasn't this nervous but then again I was young, and didn't have any kids at home to tend to.   and leaving to be in the hospital for 3 days was nothing.  Now I have a special needs child at home who I need to think about or atleast I can't help think about but of course thats why I am a mom.  She will have a sitter when I go into labor at the hospital i'm praying that I go in labor sometime in the afternoon or at night while shes asleep that way her meds and feeds are taking care of.   Once Charlee is born stephen will go home and get Audrianna and bring her to the hospital to spend time with her sister and then when its dinner time or bedtime whatever he will bring her home and stay with her til the next day and they will just come back.  Its gonna be so hard getting Audrianna adjusted to have a sister in the house a baby at that.  She knows that theres gonna be changes and we have explained to her several times in the past 9 months that shes gonna have a sister and so on.  While its easier for a parent with a typical child a 5 year old at that to explain the living changes ect and that they will have a sibling its alot harder to explain that to a special needs child one who is not verbal and can't really tell you how she feels.  So we started getting Audrianna ready right around the same time we found out in December.   
I'm also nervous about going into labor this time I don't really know why cause I wasn't with Audrianna with her I was pretty laid back about alot of things I was able to accept everything and every challenge that was placed in our direction and we just learned to overcome every rock, tree, pot hole ect that was placed in our path.  With Audrianna we were told she was perfectly healthy and there was nothing wrong with her.  With this baby the same thing.  But heres how I see it you can order a steak dinner at a resturaunt and you might have an image in your head of what you think that dinner will look like or maybe your going by the picture on the menu.  But you don't really know how that steak dinner is gonna look or taste, smell ect til its right in front of you and you can choose to try it our simply be disappointed and return it.  yes sadly people put special needs children up for adoption all the time or even put them into an institute.    With Audrianna that was never ever an option we were gonna be there and love her no matter what.   Same with charlee we plan on loving her no matter what she looks like, acts like ect.  We made both our children out of love and we plan on loving them regardless of there flaws.  Audriannas behavior around her sister is going to have to be worked on but thats a given with any child Audrianna is gonna need to learn that its not all about her anymore and the same goes for Charlee when shes old enough we will explain to her why Audrianna is different , why she sees so many drs, why she gets sick alot ect.  we will probably start talking about it when shes around 3 years old or 4.