My not so perfect life

Anyone who has a special needs child knows it takes its toll on your relationship. I hate to say it but my relationship with my fiance is far from perfect. Yes we were getting a house more like he was he's the one whose buying it. Hell I was super excited cause things seemed to be going really well with us or at least well enough where the bickering and problems we were having could be resolved. Him and I have pretty much had our fights on and off since 2003 before Audrianna was conceived once she was conceived I had that stupid notion that things would start to look up for us. When we found out Audrianna had a Cyst on her brain in utero I had a hard time dealing with that alone but I in the end was able to deal with it we were told it would go away things would be OK if anything it was a marker for a small possibility that she would have some developmental delays which I was OK with my brother and sister both have learning difficulties and they are OK. I gave birth to a perfectly healthy child She was a blessing things were going great Stephen and I were getting along Then 5 months later we discovered our beautiful child was really not meeting any of her milestones. then it was off to that lovely world of Dr's appointments, specialists and a diagnosis. I was so focused on my child and her needs that i basically started to forget about my needs and my fiance's needs if you kwim. now almost 3 years later we sleep in the same bed but he sleeps in his and I sleep on mine. I wanted another child so bad so we had been seeing a geneticist because tests being done on audrianna were all coming back normal she does have cerebral palsy but they don't know why. Yes i should be happy about this but it until we have answers the geneticist said we shouldn't have more kids plus i had craniosynostosis as an infant that's when the skull closes to fast usually when they check your infants soft spot that's why there checking it well its genetic so our next child may not have cp but they will have craniosynostosis. I ended up OK after several surgeries and lots of missed days of school. I do get headaches quite often. Ok anyways it kinda put a damper on my fiance and my intimacy. I can't take the pill cause I have issues with the hormones in them and condoms seem to irritate me "I'm not allergic to latex). Our personal life wasn't completely gone till recently there's this girl she works at a local restaurant near us and the day Audrianna had that horrible seizure him and his brother had taken Audrianna there for dinner I think that's when he met her I am not even sure. Then he decided to join this gym that had opened up near there I was OK with this I didn't really no anything about the girl yet in fact i didn't even know she existed, I did know my fiance wanted to lose weight and join a gym so he could keep up with Audrianna if she ever starts to walk or run. So he joined this gym low and behold the girl also joined the same gym and works out there also. I started to hear a little bit about this girl cause she started texting his cell phone and IMing her. Before people start jumping to conclusions he was telling me for the most part what she was saying to him except for personal things about her life that I really don't need to know about. So I figured if he was cheating on me he wouldn't be telling me about the things she said. She would flirt with him and he would say she needs to back down. That hes in a serious relationship and he has a child (obviously she knew about that one). He at first was working out at the gym after work for 2 hrs the gym is open 24hrs a day. Then he started coming home a few times at 3 and 4 am and it would turn out he was there talking to the girl. Yes I started to get upset about this and he knew he also told me to stop being jealous and insecure and all that crap. Every relationship I have been in I have been cheated on so its hard to trust people. So last night he said to me what if she called and asked him to come save her ( there's reasons behind this that I just cant talk about, its her life not mine) Then a few minutes later he gets a text message to rescue her ( coincidence he says, I think not) So at midnight he gets dressed and goes to save her ( Insert any mean and nasty name you can think of here) Well next thing you know I hear him come back in the house yelling for the fire extinguisher and i hear him running down the basement steps well apparently he doesn't know where his great uncle whom we live in keeps them well geeze great. good thing the house wasn't on fire. So I see whats going on he says his friends truck is on fire and for me to grab the flashlight he at this point found the fire extinguisher and goes outside so i find the flashlight and go out there apparently the truck wasn't on fire but the wires hooked up to the battery were put in wrong something his friend did and the wires had melted, after all that is taken care of he hops in his own truck which dies in the street right in front of our house at this point apparently the girl says never mind because hes taken so long. So he drives around to let the truck warm up after he gets it running He's probably also avoiding the very angry fiance he has at home. Then today after he runs errands he comes home he pretty much ignores his daughter and I has he sits at his computer sending im's back and fourth with her which I am not allowed to read. So I make Audrianna lunch and we eat lunch which I figured I will make him lunch so we can sit and talk to each other nope he's still iming this girl so after i eat and audrianna eats i get her cleaned up I put her on the floor to play put the baby gates up and say I am going to lay down which i did and I slept for an hr. that's when he wakes me up to give her her meds apparently he cant do it. A while later his brother calls asking for a ride to work so he says OK. But before he leaves he asks what I would think about if said girl came over to watch movies of course i would be here and I could be in the same room Audrianna would be asleep. I of course said absolutely not then he went on a tirade about how someday I am going to have to face it that he is going to hang out with her or any of his female friends and I am going to have to deal with it. He made me really angry and I was really hurt that he didn't care about my feelings so he got into a huge fight he left to get his brother and then he has to go to work. So now I am here thinking about how I don't think i can deal with this anymore and that maybe its time to take Audrianna and leave the problem is I have not so good credit, no job and how the heck can I afford an apartment. I also have no license and no vehicle so if anyone wants to take me driving a few more times so I can get my license that would be awesome. My body aches I feel miserable and i feel like 7 years went down the drain. I love Audrianna really I do and it feels like she is the only good thing that came out of this relationship. i hurt for myself and I hurt for her she shouldn't have ti watch her mommy and daddy arguing.